Where Do I Want To Be In 10 Years?

I haven't posted in a while, but I'm not gonna make up excuses as to why I haven't written, so I guess I'll just get on with it.

I've still been going to see Elaine every Tuesday at 4. I have an appointment with her today actually. Last time I was there she gave me some "homework." I'm supposed to think about where I want to be in 10 years. She said it doesn't have to be a specific job, but stuff like location.

I've thought about it a little bit and honestly, I really would like to be back in England. I was so happy there and I just love everything about it. It would be a dream come true if I got the opportunity to live and work there by the time I'm 32. So I guess that answers her question as to where I would like to be physically in 10 years, but I feel like it's more complicated than a simple answer like that.

First of all, I'd want to be in England somewhere near London or in London. I think London is an AMAZING city and would love to live there or near by. Hatfield was okay when I was living there. There isn't much to do, but that might have been because I didn't have a car to really get around to anything. I feel like if I was in London though it would give more a better opportunity to meet people. I would hope I would meet people either way, but I feel like London is more diverse and has more people (obviously), so the chances of being able to meet people might be greater? Maybe?

Besides what city I want to live in, there's the issue of my family. I obviously love my family, but I'm not sure how they'd feel about me moving there. I know that they would probably want me to be happy and if that is what makes me happy I don't think they would deliberately try to stop me, but it might be harder for them to grasp the whole idea of me moving to another country. My Dad already said "What about your family?" I just told him I would come visit and come home for holidays and stuff like that. Most of our family lives really close by to where we are now, so it would be a huge change and I would miss them a lot, but I know being in London would really make me happy. I don't know what it is, but there's just something I love about being there. I wish I was there now.

The only other problem I could see would be the issue of money. I said I would come home to visit for holidays and such, but that requires money. I feel like I need to make sure that I have a job that will be good enough to pay the expenses to keep flying back and forth. I mean, yeah my family could come visit me as well, but I'd want to come home too. Besides that, I know my Mom doesn't really make great money, so it'd be hard for her to get the money to fly over. That's why I'm hoping I can get a good enough job to make all of this happen for me and my family.

That pretty much answers her question, but while I was there we talked about jobs and university and stuff like that. I told her about the audio engineering thing that I thought about doing. Since the appointment I've thought about it more though and I'm not really sure that's even what I want to do. I did research and looked into it more and it just seems like there's not many opportunities to get a job in a field like that. Even if it's something I think I might really like, I'm not sure I'm that much of a "go-getter" to hunt down the job and spend every waking minute trying to achieve it. Plus from what I looked at they usually don't make a ton of money, so if the salary is around 30,000 which I think is what my Mom makes around, then that probably wouldn't cut it for me.

The only problem now is what do I want to do? I have no idea at all! I've been looking at different stuff and going through different ideas and my issues and what I like doing, but I still have no idea what I want to do for a career :( I don't know how I'm supposed to decide something like that either. I guess I have to think about it more and maybe I'll try to talk to Elaine about it today. I just don't want to draw the subject out forever, I just feel so confused about it. I know she can't decide for me, but I just don't know what to do at this point and I'm hoping making she'll have some ideas to help.

That's all I'm going to post for now because I have to get ready for my appointment, but I'm sure I'll post again later and write about what we discuss today. Hope it all goes well at this appointment :)